I recognize that celebrating the penis isn’t in vogue these days, but this is an article about a very special penis. It’s about Chris Pontius’ penis and its role as the "Pontiusaurus" in Jackass Forever. About half of all humans on earth have a penis, and I would fancy a guess that about half of all animals on the planet have penises, so it’s no wonder so many people are tired of the penis—there are a lot of them out there. So I can certainly understand why someone would not be interested in reading this article. If you have an aversion to penises, please don’t read this article.
This seems like it should live here, yeah? Yeah. Fuck yeah. Of course it does! Special thanks to everyone at Stratosphere who had a helping hand in making this video/collaboration possible. Whoever came up with the whole "it takes a village" schtick was right on the money in terms of StrangeLove… we're like the Amish barn-raising outliers of the industry (even if the industry has no idea we're even a part of it).
Hey, do you still happen to have your official StrangeLove tin foil hat from our "conspiracy" release back in 2019? Good, because you're going to need it this coming weekend. Should you, however, have no idea what I'm referring to, that's probably because you never even knew this company existed prior to February 2020—not that that is a bad thing, of course, because the truth is we barely existed on anyone's radar before that fateful Valentine's Day fiasco. What a shit show that was! Gosh, for a day all about love we sure did bring the rain of hate. Good times.
Not to be presumptuous, but if at times while reading the various product non-descriptions and all the other various "header card" nonsense, you've thought to yourself, "Wow, this dude sounds like he's on the verge of a mental breakdown," I'd have to say, "Sure, why not," which ultimately brings us to the return of the "Balloon Boy" graphic.
Normally this would have been a ridiculous post supplied by the inimitable Dave Carnie to island hop between our more momentous graphic events, but I'm sure you've noticed the sudden dearth of his absurd words and that he's nowhere to be found. Well, that's not true, I'm just being dramatic and shit because you can now find him writing full-time over at the resurrected editorial board of Creem Magazine. Yes, that Creem Magazine, the one made famous by the infamously critical words of Lester Bangs and the happy-go-lucky li'l "Boy Howdy" character drawn by Robert Crumb. And while I'm sad for us (waah!), I'm stoked for him (yeah!) because his voice deserve a far, far greater reach and audience than our little waste of a cyberspace outhouse.